How to Stop Being a Victim of Circumstance and Change your Life like a Boss!

Are you tired of life beating you up right when you think things are turning around for the better?

Change your Life

I know I am. I’ve been up and down more times than Charlie Sheen. Bwahahaha :)

Charlie & his tennis ball                                                                                                           Roozbeh Rokni via Compfight

It can be hard to change your life…to change your circumstances. When you’re up, you’re up and when you’re down, it’s hard as hell to get back up again. Maybe that’s why some people don’t even try at all? They stay down, dragging their way through life, appreciating what they have, and not expecting much more than that.

It seems to me, at least from my perception of things, and the physical environment that encompasses me–people don’t expect much out of life.

They have given up!

Given up on trying to do something more with their life and truly want to live.

It took me 25 years to meet someone who was actually living their dreams.

Now how sad is that?

Where I’m from, (just like so many other environments) people don’t follow their dreams…they just try to get by. They are forever engulfed in the bubble–society presents them. A bubble filled with negativity, inertia, mundane, routine, misinformation, mis-education, narcissism, pessimism, boredom, lack of freedom, suffering, etc, etc, etc…

Let’s face it. It’s way too easy to quit on your dreams.

What’s more messed up, is most people think of dreams as just that. Dreams. Something you had a good time in your mind with, but at the end of the day, isn’t even a possibility for them. It’s because of this, the masses never even attempt to dream. They’ve lost their ability to dream, before they’ve even tried.

How do you say to someone, “Hey, you should follow your dreams, when they are having a hard enough time, getting through the struggle of their everyday life?

Take this random case for example:

There’s this girl who as a child, dreams of traveling the world. She wanted to see the Great Wall of China, the infamous city of Paris, the feel of the ocean water running between her feet, and the scenic views of the Redwoods in Northwest America. She had a collection of pictures in a chest, of all the places she wanted to travel to when she grew up.

Can you guess what happened?

I’d like to tell you she is somewhere out there, nomading around the world, seeing all the places she has collected in her chest.

I’d like to say that she followed her dreams, and lives a life full of adventure, joy, love, and fulfillment. I’d like to say it, but I can’t.

Nope, this story ends, like most in today’s society. After graduating high school and taking a break before deciding whether or not to go to college, the girl met a guy, fell in love, got married, had 3 children, and faced the day to day struggle, billions suffer on a daily basis…

an unwitting victim...bwahahhahahaaCreative Commons License                                                                                                                                                   bark via Compfight

She became another victim of circumstance. The same circumstance millions and billions of people are held down by;

  • An insufficient amount of funds.
  • She was poor. 
  • She didn’t have much money. 

Just like the countless others who live day to day, paycheck to paycheck, the girl and her husband were trying hard just to provide shelter, food, and some form of life in between. If you asked here why she never visited the Great Wall, she would say, “how? with what money?”

She and her husband have tried to put some form of savings in place, but between the costs of raising a family of 5 on a single yearly income of $30,000, and the reality’s of circumstance which life brings–they’re lucky if they can afford a vacation once every 5 years. And that’s only for a 3 night stay somewhere within driving distance.

Being able to fly to Paris, ha! Yeah right! Not in this lifetime, the girl would say.

Isn’t that just sad?

All the girl sees is how much money it will cost to see all the places she has ever wanted to go. She looks at her life, her responsibilities, her options, etc.–but to her, it’s not a possibility, because she will never have that kind of financial freedom.

Sadly, that’s just the problem, isn’t it? The status quo, strikes again!

Yet, the girl’s story isn’t that far different from millions of others, playing the same game, with the same type of circumstances. What saddens me most is the girl, (and the millions of others who are victims of the same circumstances) are practically clueless as to how or where even to begin changing their life and following their dreams.

Outsmarting Circumstance

I’ve been talking a lot about circumstance. Allow me to be a little more specific. The circumstances we face in our life, and the choices we make during those circumstances, can either lead us to where most of us want to be;

(happiness, fulfillment, freedom, joy …)

or–

they can lead us to a state of being, which delivers more;

suffering, negativity, doubt, fear, …

“The choices you make in life’s circumstances, give you the opportunity to change your life, and alter the perception of your reality, one circumstance at a time.” 

Letting Go

First things first. Before I get to the part where you stop being a helpless victim and begin to take on those circumstances, and change your life like a boss–you have to understand something.

The circumstances we put ourselves in, (either willingly or not) and the choices we make, do not matter as much as how we progress and evolve as a person because of them.

The real changes happen after we stop looking at what we see on the outside for answers, but how we find those answers from within.

You are the co-creator of your perception of reality. This interview with Will Smith explains this a lot. Enjoy!

Letting go of anything you think you know about the reality you see outside yourself, will allow you to have an open mind, and let in the possibility to change it.

How to Change your Life Like a Boss!

If you’re still with me, I’ll get to the good stuff.

Below are some actionable steps you can take;

  • Learn, Understand, & Use

It’s amazing how life can change in the blink of an eye or over the duration of many, many years. If you’re like me, you’re sick and tired of being broke, sick and tired–and want that to change. Unfortunately, life doesn’t change for you, you have to change it.

You need to educate yourself on the fact that your life is your’s to change, but you must consciously participate in those changes.  You should understand that you are a slave to your very own mind.

Eckhart Tolle explains it like this,

“You are unconsciously identified with it, so you don’t even know that you are its slave. It’s almost as if you were possessed without knowing it, and so you take the possessing entity to be yourself. The beginning of freedom is the realization that you are not the possessing entity – the thinker. Knowing this enables you to observe the entity. The moment you start watching the thinker, a higher level of consciousness becomes activated. You then begin to realize that there is a vast realm of intelligence beyond thought, that thought is only a tiny aspect of that intelligence. You also realize that all the things that truly matter – beauty, love, creativity, joy, inner peace – arise from beyond the mind. You begin to awaken.”

Learning how to separate yourself from “the thinker” will help you to understand how to change your life. You then begin to understand and use the knowledge you have gained. Eventually, if you keep moving forward and progressing as a conscious human being, you’ll become more equipped to owning those circumstances.

Because you know something many do not…in order to change your life, you must first change your thoughts. If you’re to the point of changing your thoughts, you’ll already be a boss. 

What about you? What is holding you back from discovering some of the depth, which this world holds inside of yourself? Share below.

Love to hear your thoughts. Please share in the comments :)